I've always wanted to start a blog, especially since I've been married, but I feel like every time I've attempted a blog- I always go back and re-read what I wrote, and I hate it! I feel like it doesn't sound like me at all. But really, it probably is me and I just need to accept that I'm really not the most exciting writer around. So, if you end up reading this, I'm sorry, because truthfully, I'm just keeping a blog so that my kids have something to read about me back when I was cool.
I suppose to get things started, I should share the little story about how Cameron and I ended up together- especially since this little baby boy is due any day now. Man, time flies. There are two sides to our story really- Cameron is convinced that we met in church, and I'm convinced that we really met in high school. They're kinda both the same, but we tell our stories a little differently, but mine is most correct. Here's how it really went down:
Cameron & Paige's Story:
When I moved to St. George in November of 2005 as a bratty, teenage, bitter, high schooler, my family belonged to the Bloomington 7th ward. Cameron happened to be in that same ward, but I never bothered talking to him because he kind of intimidated me. As a 16 year old, he really did look 25. Anyway, we were in the same Sunday school class, but he was too cool for me and I was too cool for him. We got in an argument once, and he said something rude, so I said something meaner back. After that, he thought I was a brat, and we never really talked in church after that. Then, our ward split and we went our merry ways. About a year later, a school dance was approaching and I was still the same anti-social teenager I'd always been and really didn't have anyone to ask. So, my friend Aly- who still belonged to the Bloomington ward suggested that I take Cameron since I kind of knew who he was. Well, earlier that summer we had randomly worked at the post office together and had forgotten about our tiff in sunday school and I thought he was pretty cute and funny, so I agreed. To make this short, I asked him to the dance, he said yes, and before the dance even approached, we were already officially dating. Kids- I don't ever want you to date seriously when you're in high school, I should have listened to the prophet.
Through high school, we dated on and off- knowing that we shouldn't but had a hard time letting go. Even after we graduated, we still liked each other, but he had a mission to serve. So, the time came- he left for Mexico, and I was going to college dating like mad to get over the fact that he was gone. I'm pretty sure I wrote him every week, despite my many dates, and was convinced I was going to marry him. I would even spend many nights with his dad, sister, or mom.
However, all my plans to marry Cameron came to a halt when one random night, I had a thought that I needed to serve a mission- and that I needed to go as soon as I was able to. This was September 2010- so I still had a good 8 months before I even turned 21. I fought that thought every single day for so long and tried to avoid it like the plague. If I went on a mission when I turned 21- that meant Cameron was going to be home from his mission for almost a year before I would return. I ended up telling Cameron's dad one night about this thought, and he told me that he already knew I needed to go. I shared with him my fear of losing Cameron and he said something to the extent of- If it's meant to be, he'll be here when you get home, if not, you'll find the person you're supposed to be with. I hadn't realized it, but for the last couple of years, I really had been living my life around Cameron's agenda because I wanted to make things work with him. I hate the unknown and I wanted to plan my whole life out so there were no surprises.
Well, Heavenly Father was throwing me a curve ball and I needed to decide if I was going to take it or not. Eventually, I took it. I started planning on serving a mission around December 2010 and became quite ecstatic about it. So much so that my Bishop was annoyed by my constant pestering to fill out my papers. I was so anxious to go all of the sudden. You know how the scriptures talk about "a mighty change of heart" boy how I fit that description. Finally, I was able to fill out my mission papers- and the minute I had submitted them to the Stake President, Satan descended. Seriously, he's a jerk. From the time I had turned in my papers to the time I got my call, I was already dating someone else- someone I shouldn't have been dating in the first place. When I got my call to the Missouri Independence Mission, serving in the Visitor's Centers, and speaking English, I was so disappointed. I was hoping for this amazing, foreign, language learning mission, that would re-motivate me to get out there. My mighty change of heart had turned again and I was completely torn and confused as to what I was supposed to do. I mean, eternal marriage was great too, right? And how did I know if I really wanted to go on a mission? Satan was pulling at every angle he could to get me to back out from going. In fact, I did- I denied my mission call to stay and marry this guy! But a few days after I did, I was still confused and torn, and had that "stupor of thought." I won't give you all the nitty-gritty details, but let's just say, I finally came to and realized that I needed to go. My bishop even told me, "Sister Conrow, you realize that not everyone gets mission calls....The Lord wouldn't have called you to serve if it wasn't something He wanted you to do." That stuck with me. 3 weeks before I was supposed to enter the MTC, I had my call reinstated for the same departure date, and I was finally at peace. Everything fell into place for me to go. And I knew I was doing the right thing. Now, I'm not going to lie to you and say that it was easy once I was in the MTC and even the first part of being in the mission field, but I also can tell you that it was much easier living with the peace that I made the right decision, than the guilt that may have come had I chosen otherwise.
Now, you may be wondering where does Cameron fit into all this madness? Well, during my mission fiasco- I had written him off telling him I was dating someone else seriously and that I wasn't going on my mission. I'm sure he was devastated, in fact, I know he was because his companion at the time knew exactly who I was when I met him. Haha- anyway, when I got out to the field, I wrote Cameron and apologized and begged for his forgiveness. I honestly didn't expect him to because of what I knew I had put him through nor did I think I deserved it. But, he kindly wrote me back and said, "I already forgave you a long time ago.." That told me a lot about his character right there.
From that point on, we continued to write about our missions while we were serving and how our areas were going and who we were teaching. Really, we grew close spiritually and started to see a whole new side of each other. I loved it! Throughout the duration of my mission we wrote, and when he came home he still continued to write me. He told me that he felt like he was supposed to stay in his home ward when he came home and worked very closely with the Bishop and the young men. I was so focused on my mission and didn't worry too much about going home or what was going to happen then.
Long story short, the time came for me to come home and I knew I had a decision to make. I was either going to pursue things with Cameron again, or move on. The night before I left my mission, I prayed and asked Heavenly Father if He would kindly tell me whether I should even bother dating him or not. I said, "If he's not who I should be with, then please just tell me now so I don't have to go down that road again..." Well my answer came in subtle ways within the days of my return. Cameron was there at the airport, we did the awkward handshake, and I went off with my family to be released. As I was meeting with my Stake President at 2 in the morning, his last words were, "Now, if I could give you any counsel, the one thing I would counsel you to do, is to marry someone spiritually deep." Little did my stake president know, that just prior to walking into his house to be released, I told my mom that the one thing I loved about Cameron was his spirituality. The next day, Cameron picked me up and took me to the temple with his family to go to one of our good friends' sealing. As we walked around the temple that day, I felt complete again. I didn't ache for my mission like I had been since the moment I stepped onto the plane, and it just felt right. Cameron said that he felt the same way. He said that the "empty spot" that he had been feeling since he came home was now gone. It was just easy to be with Cameron. It wasn't complicated. He balanced me out so well.
Within 2 months of being home, on January 30, 2013 we were engaged.
Marriage was a hot topic only a few weeks after I came home. After we got engaged, I had my flurries of doubts- but I recognized that Satan was on the prowl again. Thankfully, Cameron was patient with my fear of commitment, and even though I called off our wedding for a few days (I'm starting to see a pattern here...) things went so smoothly that I knew it had to be right. Something my mom told me before my mission has always stuck with me. She said, "Make a decision, and if it isn't right, the Lord will course correct." And boy was I familiar with how the Lord "course corrects." And he wasn't course correcting with the decision I had made to marry Cameron, in fact he was paving the path. There were so many instances throughout our engagement where the Lord would let me know that I was doing the right thing. It was very comforting, and I was grateful for His tender mercies. I know He really does love each and every one of his children because of this. On May 10, 2013 Cameron and I were sealed for time and all eternity in the St. George, UT LDS Temple. It was the most wonderful, perfect day of my life. Everything went so flawlessly. We had lots of support from friends and family and it was a beautiful day. We honeymooned in Cancun, Mexico for a week- and had an absolute blast. I will have to post pics and tell a little bit more about that just for records sake.
Present Day
So now, here we are, almost a year and a half later- expecting our first little bundle of joy- a little boy whom we have yet to name. He's due on September 9, 2014 and I am one anxious mom to be. We're still living in the same apartment we originally moved into when we first got married, and are planning on staying there until we move away for Dental School. I hope to write a few more blog posts from the past year and a half so I can remember all the fun we've had as a newlywed couple up until this point.
Love it! I don't think I ever knew the entire story. Aww presh ;)
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